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Yesterday I got an email from a friend. Not too long ago, he suffered a stroke. I met him while he was an inpatient in one of the neuro rehab facilities I visited regularly. He recently was given a battery of tests to peek inside his brain and see what damage was done and assess his recovery possibilities. In a blunt, no nonsense manner, he was informed that he needs to accept where he is and understand that he will probably NEVER be able to do some of the things that once brought him great joy. He was devastated. I understand needing to accept ourselves as we are in the moment but does anyone overcoming health hurdles NEED to hear the words, "YOU WILL NEVER"? Is it healing to be told of our limitations?
Another friend whose wife is battling a debilitating illness, while at a neurology appointment was told, "she will never get any better". How do such final statements color our healing process?
Yet another friend, a neighbor told me a story of his wife's sister who went to the doctor and they had to do exploratory surgery to figure out that she was full of cancer. They stitched her back up and said, "there is nothing more we can do here". She was given a limited amount of time to live and in the months since she has had them baffled as to why her cancer cells are dying and dropping in numbers, having not been treated at all.
Where do we turn when the experts say NEVER? Words have power and when people whom we have been taught to respect use them, how does this shape our recovery? I've always felt that when traditional methods don't quite get us what we need, we have alternative options. Our minds are more powerful than we think and our bodies are equipped in many cases to heal but we need to support that healing physically, mentally, and spiritually.
We all need to understand the power of our words and how they affect others. What seems to get missed at times is that individual person and their will and motivation. Some patients are extraordinary, they defy the odds and thrive despite their illness severity. Maybe we NEED more of these stories!!! We NEED to remember that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, especially while we are healing. Sure, accept your situation, right now, right here... you've had a stroke, or a physically debilitating illness, or cancer but your current situation is ALWAYS subject to change just as life itself is.
In much love and light...